aikaterini

I’ve been a fan of mystery novels for a long time. I’ve read many works by Agatha Christie and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Miss Marple, Hercule Poirot, and Sherlock Holmes have long been familiar names to me. I’ve enjoyed reading about them and their adventures and I’ve enjoyed seeing their cases unfold on screen. Nowadays, whenever I watch any modern-day versions of Holmes and Poirot that usually come in the form of cops, spies, or modern detectives, I think about those particular two male detectives whenever a rather troubling trend comes up involving female detectives and/or spies.

This trend is the habit of female detectives to dress like prostitutes whenever they have to do undercover work. Somehow, strip clubs and/or brothels are commonly implicated in criminal investigations. Rather than simply interrogating suspects as their male counterparts would, female detectives often pose as prostitutes in order to get close to suspects and ferret out information. It’s become so common that I’m surprised that it hasn’t become one of the requirements for becoming a female spy. In addition to possessing strength, agility, cunning, poise, a firm knowledge of weaponry, and all of the other attributes that are required of a male spy, women apparently also have to be willing to take off their clothes if they want to do undercover work.

This wouldn’t be as much of a laughable cliché if it wasn’t so one-sided. Male detectives and spies are never in this position. They never have to disguise themselves as prostitutes in order to uncover secret information. They never have to use their bodies and sexual wiles for the greater good. Sherlock Holmes donned plenty of disguises, but he notably never dressed as a prostitute and pretended to sexually gratify a client in order to find out information. Neither did Hercule Poirot. Neither do the hundreds of other male detectives out there. Only women are thrust into this role.

And don’t tell me it’s because prostitution is an exclusively female occupation. That is completely false. There are plenty of male prostitutes out there. There’s even a term for them: “gigolo,” which is basically the male equivalent of “mistress.” As long as there have been female prostitutes, there have been male prostitutes. They may not be as widely known or as common as female prostitutes, but they exist. It’s strange how male detectives are never called to perform that role, not even when the crime involves a gay brothel. If a homosexual man is involved in a crime, male detectives simply ask questions and then eventually leave. They don’t pretend to be gay and they certainly never pretend to be gay prostitutes. Why is that? After all, if a female spy must work undercover as a prostitute for the sake of the cause, surely it’s not too much to ask that a male spy do the same. They don’t have to pretend to be gay all of the time – they could just pretend to be an older woman’s gigolo, if in fact a male escort service is implicated in a crime scene.

Oh, but if a male detective did that, he’d be “debasing” himself. He wouldn’t look so tough and cool anymore if he had to take off his clothes and pretend to grind and writhe against an older woman or another man. He wouldn’t look so independent and strong if he had to pretend to be subject to the sexual whims of somebody else. He wouldn’t look so proud and manly if he had to suffer through a series of unwanted gropes and kisses from a woman who was not young and drop-dead gorgeous. It’s fine for women to use their bodies for the greater good because that provides a handy excuse for fanservice, but men? Heavens no! That wouldn’t be “sexy” or “titillating” at all for the heterosexual male members of the audience. That would just be uncomfortable and humiliating.

So, go ahead, ladies, take your clothes off. Sleep with the enemy in order to find out information. Use your bodies, not your minds, in order to help the cause. Don’t worry about the men; they’ve got their guns and their deductions and their fight scenes. They don’t have to stoop to this level of work. They’ve got everything else covered, so just go ahead and do what you do best: using your bodies in order to get something done. Aren’t you glad that you became a spy? Don’t you feel so liberated and empowered?

I know that not all female detectives and spies have done this. I know that there are plenty of female investigators who deal with the scientific side of crime investigations, such as autopsies or logistics, or who are the capable partners of male detectives who go around asking questions. But considering how I’ve never seen any male detectives/spies shoved into this role (and please correct me if there are some who are) and yet I’ve seen many female spies who are…yeah, it’s a double standard. Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.